Story 47/1001

• find
• husband
• bird

Hi, Santa,

I haven’t written to you in… well, must be over twenty years now. But, I’m desperate.

I have lived my life being a good person, or at least I tried. I graduated high school with honors, got my bachelors, got my masters – and I got a job as soon as I finished college.

I’ve been living on my own for fifteen years, and I never asked my parents for a penny. I’ve been going to church whenever I can, and I’ve never cheated on my taxes. I even pay for dental insurance.

So, why, dear Santa, why am I still single?

I am thirty-five, I am in my prime years. I am really good looking – I moisturize, I have a whole day and night routine. I never go out without make up, I work out three days a week. I don’t even buy chocolate cake whenever I want – and God knows I always want it.

So, why can’t I find a good man, one that actually wants to be a husband, and have kids?

I am so ready to have kids. But mostly, to get married. I have it all planned, he won’t need to lift a finger. I know the venue, the food, the presents, the band – I also planned the little things. You know how they usually have doves and then release them after the ceremony? Well, scratch that. No bird is going to be in my wedding, especially not those pigeon upgrades. They’re all just rats with wings. No. We’ll have butterflies. Beautiful, blue butterflies. Because blue and white will be our colors.

Anyway, I got distracted.

My point is, after all I’ve done, can’t you at least do this?

For Christmas this year, all I want is a good man. One that will love me for me, with all my quirks. One that can make me smile, make me feel safe and secure.

And, you know, he needs to be taller than me, and know how to cook and clean. I didn’t go through all this to be someone’s maid. Also, he needs to have a job. One that pays better than mine would be a bonus, but I’m okay with less. I make good money.

Now that you know all this, get to work, Santa! I’ll get back to work too, we got a new boss today, so we’ll all get together and meet him.

Love, Shana